To Blave

Speaking of the Rain, this post was written a few months ago, but it fits well here…

Who doesn’t want the perfect “on-screen kiss”?  It doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, straight or gay, fifty or eighteen, everyone wants that dramatic scene in the rain from The Notebook, or that moment in the rain from Breakfast at Tiffany’s (annnd, I’m sensing a theme here).  It doesn’t matter if you aren’t a romantic, if you’re a die-hard skeptic with a flair for the logical – you still want it.  What leads to and follows that kiss is what differs from person to person.  The practical might want a ring presented on bended knee to be the catalyst, the next scene to feature a trip to the wedding planner.  The imaginative may envision that the dashing man or woman rushing towards them is a complete stranger, so entranced by the subject’s beauty that they simply couldn’t hold themselves back – and what follows that, well, knock yourself out.  But it doesn’t matter whether you are looking for a jet-setting-off-to-Paris-at-the-drop-of-a-hat kind of encounter, or a serious, long-term relationship leading to two and a half kids and a golden retriever.  You can’t deny that being seized passionately by your dream guy or gal, obscured from curious onlookers by sheets of curiously warm rain, would be an exhilarating and goose-bump inducing affair.

So, let me explain why I think “settling” is a valid option in many cases, upsetting as it is.  You’re telling me you wait for the beautiful man (I’m going to generalize, please feel free to insert your gender of choice here) with the stylish wardrobe and perfect hair to sweep you off your feet at exactly that point in your life when both you and he have decided it is time to settle down and start a life. Together.  Uhuh, sure.  Inevitably, assuming you’ve actually located the beautiful man with the killer duds and ideal coif, AND that he’s actually into you too, what is going to happen is one of the following scenarios, interchangeable for gender:

1. He runs up to you in the rain, you allow yourself to be swept up in a kiss, and then he tells you he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.  There is a long, awkward pause, and then you slowly, gently, untangle yourself and explain to him that you aren’t ready to settle down.  You still want to see a few countries, skydive over the Atlantic, and maybe have your own cooking show, and could he wait for you to get back from all that?  Well, probably no.  And he shouldn’t have to put off his own dreams just to wait until the day they potentially coincide with yours.

2. You run up to him in the rain, arms outstretched for a kiss.  He holds your shoulders and gives you a peck on the forehead, then explains to you the difficulty of choosing between his three current girlfriends.  If you’re willing to give him some time, he might determine that you are the best of the three, but even if he does, let’s face it.  He’s the scum who was cheating on you for the past six months.  Chances are, he’s not ready to settle down and start a life with anyone but his fat grumpy cat, who gave you hives and used your leg as a scratching post.

Either scenario would be fine and dandy – a study in Shit Happens, if you will – but for the fact that all the while you were waiting in the rain for Mr. P. Charming, looking more and more like a drowned rat, a bunch of really nice, smart, funny, good guys who had the foresight to pack an umbrella were drifting by, checking you out subtly, but not possessing the where-with-all, or understandably too fearful of mace, to jump you in a wet, secluded side street.  So you waited for Sir Humina-Humina the Wonderful, who ultimately crashed and burned like the fuselage from Queen Anna the Visitor’s decoy ship, and when you started to look around again, the side-glancing potentials had all given up trying to catch your eye and gone home.  Now, here you are not only sans Ryan Gosling’s sculpted blonde beauty, but anyone else as well.

So settle, or take your chances on the romance of a lifetime, even if it only lasts a couple of months?  You do what you want, I’m holding out for a passionate kiss in the rain that results in bruised lips and possible sutures. (whoa, plot-twist!)



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